Yesterday.....it happened.....

I turned 41!!!!  There...I said it!  Didn't want to say it, just wanted to skip it.  I said last year, when the BIG 40 happened that this year I would be in a different, better place.  Well, I am in a "different" stage of my life, but not so sure it is a better stage.  I am just trusting that God has it all in His hands.  Letting go and letting God direct my path.

I have been busy sending out resumes and filling out online applications.  I have only heard back from ONE company.  Please join me in prayer that IF this is the job that God has prepared for me, I will get this job!  I have a interview tomorrow at 2:00 p.m..

Dear God,

How much do you think I can handle?  I need a break...I am just so overwhelmed.  I have just started getting back to normal after the cancer and the surgeries, and the bad knees...etc. Then I lose my job, Lord, for the last two weeks I have been trusting...I have been believing that you are in control.  But today, today Lord, was just to much!  Why did the events of today have to happen?  I don't know how much more I can take!  I feel like I just want to go to sleep and STAY asleep!  Please, please allow things to get a bit easier for me, please!
Amen

I don't know if I ever mentioned on my blog that I had a younger brother.  He was just 18 months younger than me.  When we were growing up, we got along so well. Because we were so close in age, we did everything together.  As we got older, I was the one to keep him "calm" and he the same for me.  His name was Billy.....Billy had a son...a precious boy that was a spitting image of my brother.  Zach was almost two yrs old when his Daddy died.

Billy was drinking and driving....and as a result, he was speeding.  He came around a curve in the road, just as a 18 wheeler was pulling out of a side street.  Billy hit his breaks, but he was just going to fast.  The police said that from the skid marks in the road, they could tell that at the point of impact, Billy was going 70 miles an hour....he went under the bed of the truck, and died a few minutes later.  Billy was just two blocks from home...

My nephew and his Mom moved to Fort Wayne and have been there since.  Up until about 10 years ago, I made a couple trips a year to visit him.  then his mom's lifestyle changed.  She decided that I could not come visit.  i still kept in touch with Zach...I would call him at his step dads house.  and I would send his bday and Christmas gifts to that house as well.  I spoke to Zach several times a year...his bday, Christmas and my bday.  He was a precious boy!

Today....I got a phone call.  A phone call that I wish I had never got!  My precious nephew, 19 years old, was killed in a car accident.  He was hit by a drunk driver!  My heart sang!  I can not take much more!  I don't understand why? 

Please pray for his Mom and Dad....Michael ( his step dad) is the only Daddy Zach ever knew.  And Michael loved him very much!

I've been thinking...

What is really keeping me here?  Maybe me losing my job is a good thing.  Maybe its God's way of telling me that its time to move on!

After all, there really is nothing keeping me here.  I don't have any family, to speak of, to keep me here.  And the family that I do have, really it is not in my best interest to have anything to do with them.  I use to say that I stayed for friends, but really, is that a reason?  I have learned that, well, friendships come and go.  That they seem to be around for a season.  And however thankful I am for the time they are in my life, they are not always gonna be there.

I do have some great kids in my life here..but is that enough to keep me here?  Really, they are all old enough to travel to visit.  I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud.  But maybe...just maybe...

I can just see Cooper and I back in Colorado.  It is so beautiful there.  The weather is so much cooler.  Or maybe California, it may be hot there, but it is not as humid there.

What to do!  I don't even know if anyone even reads this, but if you are out there reading...please pray for me.  Pray that I will know what do to.  Pray that God will open up whatever doors need to be open.  That I either find a job here, or that a door opens for me to move on.  Pray that my heart be guarded, and that I make the right choices.

As of right now....I have had no leads on a job.  As of right now, I think I would scare anyone that wanted to interview me, since I have cried for a week!  NOT PRETTY!

OH, WHAT TO DO.......

I never saw it coming...

I may have complained about my job...but I did like it. I enjoyed getting to talk to folks from all over the country. I loved the hours, and the insurance was the best!

So, I never saw it coming...I went to work Friday, like I did any other day. My day started at 3:15 a.m. and I was at my desk working by 5:30 a.m. I took an average of 756 calls from 5:30-1:00, and then it happened. A bunch of us are told to go to the conference room...even members of management were sitting around the table. And there was unfamiliar faces standing.

That is when it happened! We no longer had a job! A new company had bought us out and they decided not to keep any of the full time employees. They did keep  the part time folks, but then why not, they don't have to pay benefits.

So now the hunt is on for a job~I don't like looking for a job! And I struggle with finding one that will hire a 40+ yr old, with no college education and a cancer history.

Please pray a job opens up for me...

Happy Birthday Cooper!

I know, I know....I am one of those crazy people who celebrate my pups birthday!  Cooper was given to me for my 40th and he is the BEST gift I have every recieved!  His birthday was May 21st and we celebrated with a party in the dog park.  Enjoy the pictures!

This free slideshow design customized with Smilebox

A few months late...but better late than never

This year we had a BIG team for the San Antonio Susan Komen Race For the Cure.  Every year it just gets bigger and bigger, and every year, my heart just swells with joy!  This years shirts were inspired by my tattoo.  I got the pink ribbon when I was told that I had breast cancer....and one year after I was told the cancer was gone, for my 40th b-day, a dear friend blessed me with finishing the tattoo.  I always said that when I was told the cancer was gone, I wanted to turn the ribbon into a butterfly, a symbol of being "set free" from the cancer.

I hope you all enjoy the pictures.  Most of the pictures were taken by my BESTIE, and another dear friend, Deanna.  Then my sweet friend Kathy made a smile box for me.  Make sure you have the speakers turned on, there is an AMAZING song that plays with the pics....it is called "Let's make PINK just a color again".

Another free photo slideshow by Smilebox

Hope you enjoy!

I found ANOTHER great give away!

Ok, for all of you out there that like to sew, or those who would like to learn to sew....this is a fun give away!  All you have to do is leave a comment. 

Just go here: http://www.everythingetsy.com/2010/06/book-review-giveaway-the-best-of-sew-simple-magazine/

I am just getting back into sewing...and think I would love to make the purse on the cover of the book!  But why stop there!  The book has 50 different sewing ideas and tips!

What are ya waiting for?  Come on along...enter the contest!~

Drum roll please............

I know that I am several day late posting the winner of my first give away!  For that I am sorry.  It has been a REALLY busy week...

Ok, I will not keep you waiting any longer!  I spent last week with over 500 kids, from k - 5th grade.  I was wondering just how I would pick the winner.  So, I went to the kiddos!  I found a group of the Rookies, which is the youngest group...with me I took 8 different colored squares...on the back of each square I wrote the name of one of you that left a comment.  I then asked the kiddos to pick which color square they liked best!  The square with the most "votes" would be the winner of the Kate Carlson CD!  The yellow square won!  When I asked them why most of them liked the yellow square, they told me that it made them feel happy!

I know, I know...you all want to know who's name was on the back of the yellow square!

DRUM ROLL PLEASE........

The winner is Christine from one of my favorite blogs!

Congratulations Christine!  Email me you address and I will get you this amazing CD!  I know right now, she and her husband John are in the Ukraine adopting two more wonderful children!  Please keep them in your prayers!

Thank you to everyone who entered the drawing.  And you can still get a copy of the CD, just go here and order yours!  It is a really great CD and the price is right as well!

My first give away...

I know I said that I would draw the winning name today, MONDAY and announce it on Tuesday...but this week is just kinda crazy for me.  I will be drawing and announcing the winner on FRIDAY...that give more of you a chance to enter. 

Feel free to pass on the link so that others can enter as well.

All the information about the give away is in the blog below.

A GREAT CD...and the BEST part...you can get one FREE!!

I have sat here and prayed and prayed for the words to say about the young lady that made this CD.  First, let me introduce you to KATE CARLSON:

Ha Ha....a silly picture, I know...but it shows her playful side!  Ok, Ok....here is a better one...

This is actually the cover of her CD.

Kate is a Worship Leader for the Imagine Me Set Free conference that I attended in April.  She has such a pure heart for the Lord.  Several times during the weekend I was brought right into the throne room of the King while listening to her sing.  She has a sound like you have never heard. 

Since the retreat I have had several chances to "chat" with Kate on FB and Twitter.  I told her one day that I was proud of her for what she is doing to advance the kingdom.  She told me that it was not about her, that it was all about God!  She didn't want the praise for what she is doing.  All she wanted to know is that her music was ministering to someone.

Kate has been singing for a long time.  By the time she was 12 she had already sang several times in the main worship service of her church and sang with the youth worship team for the church she attended. At 14, she went out on a 6 week tour with the Young Continentals.  And the girl just has not stopped since!

You can read more about Kate HERE, and you can follow her on Face Book HERE or even on her sweet Momager's blog  HERE.  There is a link on Kate's blog to purchase the CD, you can have one sent to you or get the down loadable version. 

Kate has just put out her first EP or CD , not sure what the difference is...

While at the retreat all in attendance was given the chance to pre-order her music.  Well of course I ordered mine!  She had already touched my heart, and I wanted to support her in any way that I could.

Well, last week I got my CD!  And I have listened to it several times a day since!  Like I said, that girl can sing!  There are 5 songs on the disc, two of which Kate wrote.  Saving One and You are Able are AMAZING songs!  But she also does a great job with the other three songs.  Her version of Desert Song had me crying like a baby!

Ok, here's the deal!  A second copy of this AMAZING CD was provided FREE for review and for me to GIVE AWAY!  That's right!  You can get a copy of the CD free!  All you have to do is leave a comment here, tell me what your favorite praise song is, and you are in the drawing! (ok, you really don't have to tell me what your favorite song is, but I thought it would make it more interesting)!  I will pick a name on Monday and announce the winner Tuesday morning!

So, what are you waiting for?  click the leave a comment button and get in the drawing!
Ok...I can not help myself...I have to post these two pic's!  Kate enjoyed the Smoreo's at the retreat as well!

Don't forget to leave a comment!  I could be drawing your name on Monday and sending you one of these great CD's!

I've been hacked!!

Ok, I finally heard from blogger.  It appears that someone gained access to my blog, changed my password and deleted my entire blog!  They have the date and time that the person logged in, and I was NO WHERE near a computer at that time!  So I have been adviced to change my password once a month for the next few months, just to insure that no one has access to my blog.

Its a good thing I dont really have anything important to say here, and have not blogged about anything that I would need to remember!

So, I am off  to start from the beginning....Ha!  Ha! 

What the heck happened!

I have not been on my blog in awhile...I signed on a few days ago to send a link to a friend.  Everything was FINE...then I come back today and ALL my posts are gone!  Has this happened to anyone else? 

This is making me CRAZY!  I think I have most of them backed up....sure hope so!