Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Dear God,

How much do you think I can handle?  I need a break...I am just so overwhelmed.  I have just started getting back to normal after the cancer and the surgeries, and the bad knees...etc. Then I lose my job, Lord, for the last two weeks I have been trusting...I have been believing that you are in control.  But today, today Lord, was just to much!  Why did the events of today have to happen?  I don't know how much more I can take!  I feel like I just want to go to sleep and STAY asleep!  Please, please allow things to get a bit easier for me, please!

I don't know if I ever mentioned on my blog that I had a younger brother.  He was just 18 months younger than me.  When we were growing up, we got along so well. Because we were so close in age, we did everything together.  As we got older, I was the one to keep him "calm" and he the same for me.  His name was Billy.....Billy had a son...a precious boy that was a spitting image of my brother.  Zach was almost two yrs old when his Daddy died.

Billy was drinking and driving....and as a result, he was speeding.  He came around a curve in the road, just as a 18 wheeler was pulling out of a side street.  Billy hit his breaks, but he was just going to fast.  The police said that from the skid marks in the road, they could tell that at the point of impact, Billy was going 70 miles an hour....he went under the bed of the truck, and died a few minutes later.  Billy was just two blocks from home...

My nephew and his Mom moved to Fort Wayne and have been there since.  Up until about 10 years ago, I made a couple trips a year to visit him.  then his mom's lifestyle changed.  She decided that I could not come visit.  i still kept in touch with Zach...I would call him at his step dads house.  and I would send his bday and Christmas gifts to that house as well.  I spoke to Zach several times a year...his bday, Christmas and my bday.  He was a precious boy!

Today....I got a phone call.  A phone call that I wish I had never got!  My precious nephew, 19 years old, was killed in a car accident.  He was hit by a drunk driver!  My heart sang!  I can not take much more!  I don't understand why? 

Please pray for his Mom and Dad....Michael ( his step dad) is the only Daddy Zach ever knew.  And Michael loved him very much!


Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

Oh my - words escape me.

But like Scott says to me - the blacker the backdrop the brighter His brilliance and glory is about to shine!

HOld onto His truth now Pink! Don't let go of His hand - He is NOT letting go of yours. He is right there during the storm and is going to bring you to calmer waters! He knows He understands and He loves you with an ever-lasting love!

Hugs and much love! Praying right now!

GapGirl said...

So sorry for all of your heartache, sometimes life is so hard to understand. God never promised an easy road but He did promise to hold our hand thru it no matter what!! I pray for peace for you and provisions....

Debbie B said...

Oh my. I'm so sorry.
Hold strong to Him. Even amidst these storms He is always there to care for you. He has a plan, I'm praying for peace for you and his parents. Praying for God's plan to be revealed to you in His time.

Tricia said...

So sorry for what you have been through... am praying... praying for a new job to open up and that God will surprise you with his blessings!
I am so sorry about your nephew. Praying for you and your family as you walk through such a hard time in losing your nephew. You've had a tough season... but may God shine through in beautiful ways this year..may this year of 41 be full of amazing blessing!!
Thank you for your sweet encouragement... you always have such a way about you that makes sunshine!!
Keep hoping.... God is still good.